Tears That Didn’t Cry

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I cried yesterday
From the bottom of my heavy heart
And I heard the echoes
In the hollow of my belly.
 
I cried because life
Isn’t as I pictured it
The way it loves you one day
And breaks you the next.
 
But I swallowed my cries
And my tears held on to my eyelashes
To keep from falling
For my faith abandons ship.
 
I wrote this poem as a last resort
That maybe my deaf soul
Could hear the words my mouth can’t speak
In fear lamentations may escape.
 
But I’m loved by many
And I’ve brought joy to people aplenty,
These are things I tell myself
In an attempt to console.
 
My eyelids shut
But my usually deep thoughts are shallow
More like receding waves
Running back to sea.
 
I’m empty but still bustling with life
An irony that makes me laugh,
That although my steps lumber
My feet dance with fervor.
 
This is the letter I wrote life
From the confines of my unwashed cries
Begging her to love me more consistently
For my tears don’t cry.
– Smyekh David-West.

 

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