La Douleur Exquise

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I used to look for love in obscene places,
Like maybe the darkness I feared
In my childhood home, had a beating heart
With lots of love for me.

Just maybe she would have been a beautifully painted bungalow
With a glass door and two front windows
Because the girl that loved me at the time
Lived within the walls of the adjoining house.

But the one I loved lived across the street
And it was through my two front windows
I watched her walk to my front door
Under the supervision of my mother.

I still hear her cries
And I’m still watching her chase
After my mother’s Mazda
From the back window, on the day we moved.

Some days I run out of the moving car
And hold her in my arms
Other days my knees are still stuck to the the seat of the car
Watching what might have been the love of my life.

– Smyekh David-West.

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